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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The Art Of Words: Finding The Character

When writing a story, great characters don't just happen.  Every character requires care and nurturing to develop into someone worth following to the end of their journey.

Fade In:

As we read our favorite books and watch our favorite plays, TV shows and movies, the inherent connections to the material are in the characters and their portrayals of good and bad, right and wrong, yin and yang, and all the gray areas in between.  Our belief in those characters is what compels us to keep our attention on the peaks and valleys of their lives.  Their triumphs and tragedies resonate with us, and their journeys become our journeys.  Getting all the components of a character to work in concert is a fundamental goal of every writer; to make the reader/viewer believe whomever we create are living, breathing, sentient beings worth knowing.  Through the centuries there have been countless characters created by countless writers.  Which means those countless writers have succeeded in creating the crucial connection between character and audience.  Now it's our turn.

The Foundation, or "Where, How, and Why" of a Character

Often (but not always) the premise of our story dictates who our characters will be, i.e. a tense story about a bank robbery will probably have violent criminals; a funny story about kid's daycare will have wild, rambunctious kids and frazzled adults; a thrilling pirate story will have... well, thrilling pirates.

But it starts with an idea, the "I want to write a story about..." impetus.  And, whether we realize it or not as we construct the twists and turns of our plot, it all comes down to justifying the existence of each character in the universe we create.  How we choose to shed light on our characters directly affects our audience's reaction to them. If we know the reason why a character(s) is the focus of the whole story, or only appearing in one scene, we are already on the path to defining what that character is about: Who are they?  What do they want?  Why do they need it?  Do they get what they want?  Why, or why not? What are the ramifications of them achieving (or not achieving) their goals?  How does it affect other characters in the story?  How do these actions affect the resolution? And so on.  The process of character development takes time and patience, attributes that can be in short supply, especially when you're facing a tight deadline.  But many writers believe a story isn't created until it's been re-written at least ten times, which means the characters are constantly molded and recreated in the process; their subtleties, nuances,and flaws re-shaped and perfected until, finally, the characters "live and breathe".

If we look at +Greek mythology, +Aesop's fables, etc., we see that many of these stories possess the same attributes of modern storytelling: a hero, a villain, and their trials and triumphs to attain their goals.  The only real difference between now and then is in the presentation.  What does that mean?  The Greeks (and, to be fair, Chinese, Japanese, Egyptians, and others) figured out story mechanics over 2000 years ago.   It means that the basics, or foundation, of storytelling hasn't really changed all that much, and the Greeks knew that if audiences didn't identify with their characters, no one would pay attention to their morality plays and fables.  The Greeks employed some of the greatest tools a writer has: character dynamics, which are the personality traits that dictate a character's actions.  Going back to +Aristotle's Poetics, the fundamental groundwork of just about every story (and every character) ever written is laid out, and we discern that "action is character, character is action".  Why do I mention the Greeks' approach?   Because they laid out the path.  There's no need to "re-invent the wheel" when it comes to creating character; the method already exists.  What we can do is modify the "wheel", and create characters that relate to our modern world.

Some writers use a character attribute list, or "personality tree".  It's simply a short outline of a character's personality.  It might go something like:

Character "1" - the Protag.
A traits: smart, selfless, reactionary
B traits: contemplative, distant, loner
C traits: insecure, slightly arrogant, cynical

Character "2" - the Antag
A traits: driven, cunning, ruthless
B traits: witty, educated, calculating
C traits: insecure, petty, bitter

Each trait list is a "layer" to your character. The trait lists are a well to draw from when creating your character's actions and reactions.  While the above lists are short examples, you can add as many traits to the list as you want, and rearrange the traits to best reflect the character you want to create.  (If there are any words of caution I would have for using the trait list, it would be this: only use high value personality traits.  What does high value mean, in this situation?  It means no matter how many traits you list for your character, only keep those which you truly believe reflect the character you want to portray.  Overloading your list with every trait you can think of gives rise to the possibility that your character will become diluted, convoluted, or even lost, in a deluge of choices.)

You may have noticed that the Protag and Antag above share the "insecure" trait.  Shared traits are perfectly legitimate when creating character relationships, and add a kindred spirit dimension which may result in complications in the resolution.

You can add notes to reflect why a character has a certain trait.   If we take the "driven" trait from the Antag list we might make a simple note about what drives the Antag into their actions:

A traits: driven (revenge for father's death), cunning, ruthless

Now we have a reminder of why the Antag feels the way they do.  And, again, the notes can be as detailed as you feel is necessary.

How Come the Character in My Head Isn't on the Page?

Great characters don't just happen.  They aren't written in five minutes, and if they are they won't resonate for a lifetime.  Like people in real life, characters must evolve and grow (aka the "character arc").  They need to have ups and downs, and learn (or not learn, depending on your story) from their mistakes, even if their learning curve is painfully slow.  We now know the more we develop our characters the more we get to understand them and furnish them with a better realized world to inhabit.  Let's look at some examples:

+Rocky - One of the most beloved screen characters of all time.  Why?  Because he's portrayed by +Sylvester +Stallone as a real person whom we can identify with: he looks for meaning in his life, and finds it with Adrian; he has a big heart and, though he's street tough, shares his heart with the people closest to him; he's a bit naive, not always understanding how the world works; he's pragmatic, knowing that he's only a club fighter who's far out-classed by champ Apollo Creed, which is why Rocky refuses to fight (at first); he's determined, and comes to realize this fight is his shot at redemption, then shows not only Adrian, Apollo, and himself, but the whole world that he's got what it takes to go the distance with the champ (the 15th and final round).

+Erin Brockovich - Another great portrayal. If we go down the list of her character attributes we find she is: smart, determined, desperate, cynical, loyal, loving, scared, rude, fierce, noble, confrontational, stubborn and a born crusader. That's a lot for +Julia Roberts to pack into one performance, and she did it beautifully.

+Death Of A Salesman - Willy Loman is the quintessential tragic hero. His life is rendered almost meaningless. His job leaves him feeling unfulfilled and unsuccessful. His family life is something less than ideal. Willy is depressed, remorseful, delusional, insecure, foolhardy and, ultimately, suicidal (Willy's justification of his suicide is only an excuse for him to escape his life). He tries desperately to hold onto the last shreds of self-respect and dignity through daydreams of an affair from the past. Willy walks a line between reality and despair that is both relatable and heartbreaking.

+Breaking Bad - +Walter White is a different tragic hero. He has something to live for: his family. He's a nice, average man pushed to extremes by his circumstances (cancer, lack of funds for medical care), and reacts in an extreme way (by being a ruthless meth dealer). Walter redefines who he is for the course of the entire series and, as portrayed to near perfection by  +Bryan Cranston, discovers his dark side is his greatest asset, his personal demons his greatest allies. Walter is in turns a loving husband/father and a tortured soul, put through an emotional ringer largely by his own doing.  By the end we feel that Walter has masterminded his tragic path for the sake of his family, and exits this life on his own terms.

Epilogue

As we've seen, there are many ways to communicate character to your audience.   And really knowing who your characters are is the best way to get them out of your head and onto the page.  There is no wrong method to develop characters, unless your method isn't getting the results that you want.  Development takes time and experimentation. That being said, the process isn't the same for everybody. Some writers have a natural gift for character, and the personality components come along quickly.  But I truly believe we should give the characters a chance to "tell" us who they are and what they want.  Let the characters gestate and grow.  You'll be surprised by the results.

These are just my opinions, do with them what you will.  Best of luck.

A few quotes:

One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple - +Jack Kerouac

Don't give people what they want, give them what they need - +Joss Whedon

The most valuable of talents is never using two words when one will do - +Thomas Jefferson

You can fix anything but a blank page - +Nora Roberts

Learn the rules like a pro, and break them like an artist - Pablo +Picasso

A few links:

+Writer's Guild - www.wga.org - register your work

+Writer's Store - www.writersstore.com - books, dvd's, seminars, software

+ Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - produced and unproduced screenplays

+Script - www.scriptmag.com - all about writing

+Zoetrope - www.zoetrope.com - +Francis Ford Coppola's company website

+WordPlay - www.wordplayer.com - web site of writers Terry Rossio & Ted Elliot

+The Script Mentor - www.thescriptmentor.com - script coverage

Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Art Of Words: Word Energy

Writing a screenplay, a book, an article, or any other creative endeavor requires several crucial elements for success.  One not to be overlooked is the energy within the material.

FADE IN:
Everyone whom enters into an artistic endeavor obviously has an idea, a feeling, or an impulse that motivates them to at least make an attempt to release their artistic expression.  Some ideas are clearer than others, but even the slightest motivations can manifest fantastic results.  The desire to create and the passion to see it through are at the heart of what the arts are all about, be it writing, performing, producing, or some other form of creative expression.  For each facet to be successful the end result needs to embody one primary element: energy.  Not necessarily physical energy, but emotional energy, one so strong that we are drawn to the artist's work, again and again.

Every creative endeavor should begin and end with a purpose. Whether it is to enlighten, entertain, educate, or some combination of the above, every artist must know the reason they are creating their material. Intent should be a key factor that drives creativity, and brings your idea to fruition. Weak intent can garner weak results, and lead to frustration upon frustration. That's not to say that knowing the intent of your material will make the process frustration free, but knowing what's behind the meaning of your work will make traversing the peaks and valleys of the creative process far more bearable.

When artistic material has meaning, the "energy" is inherent. It inspires and motivates the artist, as well as the public. That energy keeps us turning the pages, our eyes glued to the screen, our ears in the headphones, and keeps us visiting the material again, and again. It impacts fans and admirers and, hopefully, keeps them asking for more.

What Is Word "Energy"?
Word energy is the inherent component in your story/script/article that compels a reader to continue on from one word to the next. It's in the formulation of the words you choose to place on the page that takes the reader into the belly of the beast, and makes them want to continue the journey to the end. It's what makes a reader want to know "Who's the monster under the bed?", "Who's the stranger at the door during the storm?", "Who's calling my motel room in the middle of the night, when no one knows where I am?", "Who is that masked man who helps people whenever he's needed?"

Solid writing always has energy to it, and is always compelling. Think about the opening to the U.S. Constitution, and the energy in the words "We, the people of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union..." How different would that document be without its intent and purpose? "A bunch of us, stuck here in the Colonies, thought it would be really, really great to govern ourselves..." Energy is vital to selling an idea or story. But where do we find that "energy"? Where do we get a jar of it and slather it in heaps on our labors at the keyboard? The answer is both simple and arduous: work your butt off. There is no magic formula other than hard work. The right combination of words is what turns a story into a story.  Re-write/edit your pages, and apply the principles of good writing until the story flows like water.  Don't fight the process, embrace it. Keep trying different approaches and angles. Research how your favorite writers have created their work, what their failures and impediments have been, and how they overcame those obstacles. Think about the reasons you re-visit a particular book, TV show, movie, or song. Think about why those works inspire you, and how that inspiration motivates you in your own work. Make no mistake, finding the "energy" can be elusive and frustrating. But that energy is a prime factor in our motivation to keep writing, and to continue a creative journey we hope is endless.

Sooner or later, you will come to realize that the elusive "energy" you've been seeking actually resides within your own writing "voice"; your unique style that separates you from every other writer. Once you find it, you have to nurture it, you have to refine it, you have to perfect it. And, ultimately, you have to trust it, which is sometimes easier said than done. Knowing who you are as an artist is key, and that trust in yourself will come across through your material.

Pure Energy
While I had read many scripts and books early on, the first screenplay I read in one sitting was +Pulp Fiction by +Quentin +Tarantino, which isn't a lite read, if you've read it yourself. But, I simply couldn't put it down. The words bristled like nothing I had read before. It overflowed with energy. I immediately felt like the story was leading me somewhere, and I couldn't wait to find out what it was. It simultaneously followed and broke every writing rule I had known at the time, and is still looked on as a benchmark in screenwriting.


Another phenomenal read is +William Goldman's +Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. Like Pulp Fiction, the script, very deservedly, won the Oscar for best original screenplay. The story, humor, and pathos are all terrifically laid out. The energy, so evident on every page, demands you pay attention and rewards you with an outstanding tale of friendship and destiny. The characters are so well defined, so engaging, it's impossible not to root for them.

The screenplay for +Up by Bob Peterson and Pete Docter is lean, engaging, and brimming with energy. It's a fast, involving read that, in my opinion, should be required reading for any screenwriter who wants to learn about writing efficiently and with heart.


+Stephen King's +The Stand is a masterwork. It's compelling to the end, and difficult to put down, even at over 1100 pages (or over 800 in the first printing). He is a peerless storyteller, master of horror, suspense and supernatural thrillers. But his true strength is creating characters the reader identifies with, and roots for.

The Word's The Thing
Possibly more than any other writer in history, +William Shakespeare (or Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, if you're a conspiracy theorist) understood the power of intent and purpose in the creative process. No playwright has ever applied more thought, purpose, or ingenuity into their efforts. The incredible creative energy in his works is unparalleled, which is why performers and scholars have been compelled to remake, reference, and decode his catalog for going on five centuries, now. He exhausted the breadth of 16th century English so severely, he had to create over 1700 of his own words to complete his work (that's right, if you've ever said the words advertising, elbow, or fashionable, you can thank Willy Shakes). His seminal play, +Hamlet, is basically perfect. While it's not the easiest read in the world, the hero, villains, and ancillary characters are so well defined, we almost feel like we know them personally. Every motivation fully captured, every nuance fully formed. The most famous moment is a soliloquy to a human skull, and everyone knows that reference as well as any other pop culture reference you can think of. It's also one of the most quoted pieces of popular work ever created. His play +Romeo & Juliet is perhaps the most remade work of fiction in history. The title characters are universally regarded as the embodiment of true love. The opening soliloquy "Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene..." is one of the best openers ever written. The list goes on. Shakespeare was, indeed, a wordsmith like no other.

More Bard
In staying with the +Shakespeare theme, several years ago I attended a seminar whose featured speaker was Marc Norman, writer of +Shakespeare In Love. He talked about how his career had become stale, and he had been thinking about quitting the biz as a development writer at Universal. His son was attending college, and had been studying Shakespeare for a thesis. They had a conversation about The Bard, and within their discussion the spark of an idea struck Mr. Norman, one that motivated him to keep writing. But if he was going to continue to write, it was going to be his way.  And he would write his story, not one from a pile of "development hell" castoffs. Energy, intent and purpose flowed from his head to his fingertips; he was writing the script he always knew he was capable of creating. And, after many months of blood, sweat, and coffee, the toiling at his keyboard would payoff. The script was sold, produced (after several production starts and stops), and went on to garner seven +Academy Awards, including best original screenplay. The script (which was punched up by Tom Stoppard) is excellent from start to finish. It's a wonderful, engaging, compelling read, and has been one of my favorites since I first laid eyes on it. (For a little bit of fun, check out this link detailing some of the insane moments from Shakespeare's works: http://www.cracked.com/article_19245_the-6-most-wtf-moments-from-shakespeare-plays.html)

Epilogue
Simply bringing "energy" to your project doesn't guarantee success, and straight enthusiasm doesn't always translate to the page. "Energy" is another cog in the wheel of creation, and one that will serve you well. But it still takes diligence and persistence to find the winning combination of words that tell your tale the way you really want to tell it, and hopefully the way readers want to read it. The usual steps in preparation and execution will still give you the best chance to succeed. It's up to you to make the effort.

These are just my opinions, do with them what you will. Best of luck.
------------------------------------------
A Few Quotes:
Write drunk, edit sober - +Ernest Hemingway
You fail only if you stop writing - +Ray Bradbury
I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent re-writer - +James Michener
Easy reading is damn hard writing - +Nathaniel Hawthorne
Be obscure clearly - +E. B. White
Write the first draft with your heart, re-write it with your head - Finding Forrester
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A Few Links:
+Writer's Guild - www.wga.org - register your work!
+Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - download hundreds of scripts
+The Writer's Store - www.writersstore.com - Books, vids, seminars, software, etc.
+Film Independent - www.filmindependent.org - for independent filmmakers/writers
+Wordplay - www.wordplayer.com - great info on writing
+Zoetrope - www.zoetrope.com - +Francis Ford Coppola's company website




Thursday, September 26, 2013

Den Of The Damned Storyboards

I've been tinkering with some ideas to promote a script I wrote, titled The Den Of The Damned.  One idea in motion is to make a limited number of storyboards that will give a broad overview to the whole story.  It's a live-action screenplay, but the artwork (obviously) is not.

So, here's the first panel.  As you can see there's a "+Spaghetti Western" look, along the lines of "+The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".  I really like this one.


Here's another panel:


Obviously staying with the "Spaghetti" theme.  One more panel:


This one went a little bit away from the "Spaghetti Western" style I was going after, but overall it works.  It's going to take a little time, but I'll fix the color scheme of this one.

*UPDATE*


I altered the color scheme, and am trying to get the image to match the contrast-style of the other panels.  I'm still deciding how much detail to leave in if I'm going to match the silhouette form of the first panels which, again, goes for the Spaghetti Western/+Clint Eastwood westerns poster look.

So, I'll keep tinkering with all these (there are 8 total, so far), and will have a finished presentation in relatively short order.  This script has a good story, and probably the best characters I've ever written.  Hopefully I can bring some producers on board soon, and get the ball rolling on financing.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Art Of Words: The "War" Of Words

Every writer, whether they realize it or not, is in fierce, bloody competition to get read, noticed, published, and bought.  This battlefield is, quite literally, a "war" of words.


FADE IN:

While the title War Of Words isn't about face to face confrontation (at least not directly) the reality is: if the words you choose to tell your tale don't stack up and elevate above every other piece of material being offered, you will lose ground in the "battlefield", and be left to face the marauding hoards of new material, as they thunder into the "breach" (publisher's or producer's office), determined to claim their glory, and leave all others in their wake.

It is every writer's responsibility to rise to the challenges of the marketplace. It's also our responsibility to realize what the marketplace is, and what it's looking for. While the marketplace can be a vast landscape, a writer's material has to narrow it's focus on which segment(s) of the marketplace to serve. Far too often writers start writing on "impulse", then spend days, weeks, months, etc. working on material that will have little to no chance of landing at it's desired destination - a producer or publisher's desk - because little to no thought was given to how the material will stand out and above the rest, or how the material can be pitched, or marketed. Sometimes it comes down to whom the material is geared towards, i.e. major or independent studios, niche magazines or web sites, and so on. Let's see if there's a few ways to improve our chances of survival.

The Essential Questions

If you consider yourself among the ranks of writers creating new content and material, then you possess the desire to manifest your creativity into a physical reality. Creating new material is no small feat, and I salute your effort.

However, as countless writers perpetrate their countless tasks, there are essential questions that we each should ask ourselves (and we should be able to answer positively and honestly):

1. How is your material so different as to stand out from the pack? This is the basic question, and you need to answer it honestly. What makes your story or material better than every other on a producer/editor's desk?  How does your material rise above the din, and make a producer/editor want to do all the necessary work to get your work made/published?  How solid is your pitch to make them want to consider your material?  How well do you know the genre(s) you write in?  Are you true to the basic foundations of that genre?  Are you bringing in a new twist to the genre, or deconstructing it in a way a producer/publisher hasn't seen before?  If so, how?  If you can't answer these basic scenarios with an honest, positive response, then you face an uphill battle to get your work published/produced.

2. Is your "voice" truly unique, or an echo of the writers whom influence you?  This is important. Your "voice" is your calling card, and is measured against every other piece of material that comes across a producer/editor/publisher's desk. If your work reminds the publisher/producer of another writer, they may go after that other writer, whom they feel may handle the material better. Studios constantly juggle writers, trying to find the winning situation for the material.  If your "voice" stands out, and your material is solid, you are more likely to be hired and keep the job (there are exceptions to this idea. Many, many writers have done wonderful work, and still been replaced on a project).  But the bottom line is, your original "voice" is what you are selling. Stay focused on who you are as a writer.

3. How prepared are you to "change" your voice, if necessaryWriters fall into comfortable habits. It's part of our nature, and sometimes it works in our favor.  But, sometimes not.  If your writing has plateaued, or hasn't moved your career forward the way you would have hoped, are you willing to change your writing style, or "voice"?  Are you willing to adopt a style that maybe isn't as comfortable as your current one, but may give you a greater chance at success?  Our individual styles have to evolve, one way or another.  The more we write, the clearer our "voice" should be.  But this isn't always the case.  There are plenty of stubborn writers who won't change.  They just "haven't found the right story, yet".  Well, you don't have time to wait.  The longer you search for that "right story", the further back you'll be in the line trying to land on a producer/publisher's desk.  Writer's need to adapt and move quickly.  And (I believe) changing things up in your writing style can have residual (no pun intended) benefits to your overall approach, and make you a better writer.

4. What are you bringing to the table that's different from every other writer?  Not only in terms of "voice", how prepared are you to not only create the material, but work with the producer or publisher to get the material to it's highest level?  What new angle or turn can you give to the pitch or material that will make a producer/publisher say "Okay, let's do it"?  How prepared are you to defend what you've pitched or written when challenged by those whom you may want to produce or publish it?  Are you so in love with your work that you won't let publishers or producers make suggestions or changes without a fight?  This can be a tricky area. You want to show that you're a team player, but there are times you might need to make a solid (and sensible) stance on areas of you material that others may want to change.  You have to be firm, but diplomatic.  Good luck with that.

5. Is your material inherently marketable?  Again, an important point.  If your themes or material is too convoluted, too dark, or too esoteric, the harder it is to get produced/published/bought (though not impossible).  If the material is a difficult sell, then every aspect of the story better be rock solid and worth the effort necessary to bring it out into the world.  And it will all come down to "Why do you want to tell this story?"  "Who is the audience?"  "How will we make our money back?"  Again, you need to know to whom you are pitching, and whom you hope will produce or publish your work. Do your research and find out whom produces material like yours, and find out if that similar material was a success.

The Best Offense

Screenwriters/playwrights (in no particular order): +William Goldman, +Robert Towne, +Quentin Tarantino, +Charlie Kaufman, +Aaron Sorkin, +Shane Black, the +Coen brothers, +Preston Sturges, +Nora Ephron, +Neil Simon, +Arthur Miller, +David Mamet, +William Shakespeare, to name a few. Novelists (in no particular order): +Ernest Hemingway, +Elmore Leonard, +Dashell Hammet, +Raymond Chandler, +Ray Bradbury, +Philip K. Dick, +Jack Kerouac, +Virginia Woolfe, +James Ellroy, +Jane Austen, +Stephen King, +Chuck Palahniuk, to name a few. What do all these great writers/artists have in common? They each have a unique "voice". When you read their material, you can tell who wrote it by each writer's individual style.

As I've mentioned, your "voice" is the key that turns the engine for your material.  Finding your "voice" as a writer is the best weapon in your arsenal to get your book/manuscript/screenplay noticed, bought, published/produced.  It's not always easy.  Developing your "voice" takes time and effort.  And for some (maybe most), it will be a lifelong pursuit.  But, if we realize there are millions of people writing millions of pages, odds are a few of them (hopefully, including you) are going to stand above the others by not just talent, but their personal stamp (their "voice") which elevates their material.  Your "voice" has to be marketable, or your options to get sold/published/produced will be limited.  You say you can write like other writers?  So what.  It's easy to copy someone else.  Producers/publishers want to know who YOU are as a writer, and they want YOU to show them why they should invest time, money, and effort into your material.  Your "voice" gives them a reason to believe in you.  Reward them not only with your talent, but your determination to make their efforts to produce/publish you worthwhile.

Epilogue


So what does the "War" Of Words really come down to? To me, it means not only being talented, but being prepared to do whatever is necessary to get the work to its highest level. Is it always possible? Who's to say? Deadlines, wholesale changes demanded by producers/editors, "helpful" notes by various concerned parties, and life in general can derail the best laid plans. It comes down to knowing who you are as a writer, knowing deep down that your work and effort have value and purpose, and knowing your "voice" will carry the work to the vaunted heights where it belongs.

These are just my opinions. Do with them what you will.  Best of luck.
-----------------------
A Few Quotes:

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you - +Ray Bradbury

I try to leave out the parts that people skip - +Elmore Leonard

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I'd type a little faster - +Isaac Asimov

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed - +Ernest Hemingway

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug - +Mark Twain

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down - +Kurt Vonnegut
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Links:

+Writers Guild Of America - www.wga.org - Register your work!

+The Writers Store - www.writersstore.com - Software, books, seminars, and more

+Script Magazine - www.scriptmag.com - All things screenwriting

+Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - Library of film and TV scripts

+Film Independent - www.filmindependent.org - For independent filmmakers/writers

+Wordplay - www.wordplayer.com - Website of writers Ted Elliot & Terry Rossio

+Zoetrope - www.zoetrope.com - Francis Coppola's company website
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Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Art Of Words: Prioritizing

The Art Of Words: Prioritizing

Organizing the elements of our writing can be tricky and  frustrating.  But, in understanding how we are the masters of the worlds we create, taking command of the material becomes less daunting.

FADE IN:

Writing in most any arena takes discipline.  It's a necessary component of the creative process.  But discipline can also feel like an overwhelming creative hesitation, because an idea for a scene, story, or article can sometimes be so overpowering that it has to be written immediately or the spark may be lost (or so it seems).  And I now admit, without reservation, that I have jumped the gun several times and written scenes and dialogue before I charted them out on index cards, or outlined them on paper. It happens.  It's natural to be excited about a project, to be anxious to get the ball rolling. That spontaneity is a precious commodity for your writing, and will pay many creative benefits as your work progresses.  But...it's also why what is written off the cuff quite often has to be extensively corrected or wholly replaced.

Before we begin writing a project, we should have an idea of how it will end.  No matter the twists and turns, we need to know where we're going before we take the journey to get there.  Screenplays, novels, magazine articles, etc., are perpetual works in progress until they are "finished". They require constant care and feeding until they are released into the world for judgement, and even then may require more attention.  And, though it may seem contrary to my statement above, preparation is the best asset a writer has for turning whatever they're writing into a meaningful endeavor.  Preparation's primary function is to help a writer control the chaos of invention; to gather the information in a coherent manner, avoid pitfalls and redundancies, and guide the work toward its final polish.
As our prime-generator is our creativity, preparation is a safe haven for our imagination to find its center. And the best weapon for preparation is prioritizing.

Which Thing Goes With The Other Thing?

Constructing a credible story takes patience, determination, logic, a firm understanding of story structure, and a solid premise.  Without due preparation, writing mistakes, especially at a crucial juncture, can have a ripple effect throughout the material, causing heavy consternation and wild bouts of frustrated profanity.  Lack of preparation or prioritizing is the leading cause of writers writing themselves into a "corner", having to re-write entire scenes, re-work paragraphs, re-imagine characters, or question why they're writing their project in the first place.  Avoiding this very predicament is reason I like to use "bullet sheets".

A bullet sheet (aka beat sheet) is basically a bare-bones outline.  The difference is that a bullet sheet doesn't go into as much detail as an outline; just quick "shots" of the story points.  Its function is to prioritize what story "beats" need to be in place to pace out the story and build momentum, but not nessarily in the order it needs to happen.  Here's a sample* bullet sheet:

BEST SCRIPT EVER - BULLET SHEET
ACT ONE:
1. INTRO - PROTAG, OR ANTAG, OR BOTH
2. INCITING INCIDENT
3. PROTAG/ANTAG COMPLICATION
4. MINOR ACT COMPLICATION
5. MAJOR PLOT POINT #1

ACT TWO:
1. ANTAG PURSUES GOAL
2. PROTAG DENIED GOAL
3. MINOR COMPLICATION
4. MAJOR PLOT POINT #2
5. PLOT REVERSAL

ACT THREE:
1. PROTAG-ANTAG GOALS COLLIDE
2. MINOR COMPLICATION
3. ACT 3 PLOT POINT
4. RESOLUTION
5. EPILOGUE

* I usually put in a minimum of 10 beats per act, but limited it to 5 for the sample.

Let's "beat" out a big movie, +The Matrix. There are a number of ways the +Wachowskis could have approached the first act, since no one had seen anything like it before (although many people consider the film +Dark City to be kind of a "pre" +Matrix).  What makes priorities, and take a leap of faith from the very beginning.  We don't know much about Neo's real quest until the "world" of the Matrix has been firmly established.  By that time, we are completely immersed, making the transition into the "real" world in the second act easier to comprehend.

What makes The Matrix's first act work so well is that we don't know what the Matrix really is until the second act.  The film asks the audience to accept the story's

Here's what The Matrix first act bullet sheet might look like:

MATRIX - BULLET SHEET

ACT ONE:
1. Establish Matrix "world"; surreal, impossibly frenetic. Trinity fights police; confronts "agents".
2. Trinity runs, agents in hot pursuit; Trinity barely "escapes" by using a phone booth hard line.
3. Estab. Agent Smith; cold, relentless, determined.
4. Estab. Neo; his "world" is mundane, isolated by technology.
5. Neo gets an "alert" on his computer; "follow the white rabbit".
6. Night Club: Neo meets Trinity; she'll introduce him to Morpheus.
7. Office: Neo is pursued by agents; Morpheus on cell phone, guides Neo thru the office, trying to protect him; Neo is arrested.
8. Neo is interrogated by Smith. Neo is recalcitrant; "loses" the ability to speak (mouth melts); the agents implant the tracking device.
9. Neo is suddenly back in his apartment; was he dreaming the interrogation? His grip on reality slipping.
10. Neo gets in car with Trinity; tracking device is removed. It was real! He didn't dream the interrogation. Off to Morpheus.
11. Neo meets Morpheus; he explains why Neo is important, how the Matrix functions; gives Neo a choice: red pill, or blue pill?
12. Neo chooses the red pill. Off to find the "real" Neo.

While it certainly isn't as sexy a read as the script, the bullet sheet plants the ideas that will feed the form and function of the outline, and make the script easier to create.  Also notice that "red pill" is bolded, indicating a major turning point in the story.  I find bolding to be a helpful reminder when creating big plot points.

You Are The Master Of The Universe

Well, the one you are writing, anyway.  I think a lot of writers forget that they are in total control of their characters' destinies; that the path to the final conflict is lead by the writers own hand.  But could a writer forget such a thing? Well -

Writers have a lot to worry about when we take on the duties of creating a story: Does the story make sense?  Does it flow?  Are the characters engaging? Will the audience care about the hero?  Am I taking the right approach?  Are the scenes in the right order?  Does the ending justify an audience spending two hours of their time in the theater?  Is the pace moving fast enough?  Is my dialogue any good?  Is the plot too convoluted?  And on...and on. It's hard to believe anything ever gets written at all.

Knowing that we are in control of the fates of all who live and breath in our pages is both liberating and intimidating.  The responsibility for us to entertain starts on the first page, and grows exponentially as we draw closer to the final fade out.  But believing in our words is what lights the fuse to our creative purpose.  By prioritizing our components and steering the story out of the gate, we're asking our audience to trust us.  Just relax, we'll take care of everything.

As demonstrated in the Matrix example, by using the dynamic, "hyper reality" opening, the Wachowskis told the audience right away "Don't worry, you're gonna like this ride", even if the audience didn't fully understand what was going on.  By prioritizing the story elements from the very beginning, the Wachowskis rewarded the audience's patience with a fantastic journey that was entertaining to the very end.  The Wachowskis understood what best served the story, best served the film, and best served the audience.  Could the beats from the bullet sheet be re-ordered, placing the scenes in a different linear perspective?  Sure.  Would the film feel the same, and be as satisfying an experience for the audience?  Who knows?  But they obviously felt that the approach they took was the best representation of their story.  Few would argue with that sentiment.

Ultimately, writer must have the confidence to know what they're putting on the page is the right choice. "Is this information I've put in place the best piece of the puzzle to show the audience/reader at this time?  How can I make it better?"  This is why I strongly believe a bullet sheet is an extremely useful tool for priroitizing story flow, and creating story symmetry.  What is story "symmetry"?  It's the balance of the overall elements of the story you are presenting.  To me, the best stories/scripts/articles must have symmetry to connect to their audience, or you end up with long expositional speeches and ponderous character actions.  We've all seen a film/TV show or read a book where we thought "That story would have been really good if they had just done this, or that".  An audience always notices a lack of symmetry.

Think of your story as someone who goes to the gym.  The purpose of the gym is to maintain your whole body.  But there are plenty of people that only put the heavy work into specific areas; i.e. big arms or chest, but under-developed legs, etc. So be sure to make symmetry and balance top priorities, as you write.

Epilogue

The best thing about prioritizing is that it conforms to us.  It's a tool at our beckon call, because we decide what matters in the lives of the characters on our pages.  We can cut and paste someone's whole existence to our heart's content.  We can change entire destinies by pressing backspace, or enter.  But choosing what to change isn't always easy.  When we work so hard on creating the big picture, the smaller misshapen pieces can go unnoticed.  We sometimes get "tunnel vision" when we focus on elaborate set pieces, or specific story details and dialogue, leaving other equally important story components left unattended.   But by prioritizing the essential elements of our writing, and maintaining balance and symmetry, the journey to the end of the story is a much smoother road to travel.

I hope this post has been helpful.  Best of luck.
------------------------------------
A Few Quotes:
The role of the writer is to say what others cannot - +Anais Nin

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia - +E.L. Doctorow

I try to leave out the parts that people skip - +Elmore Leonard

What is written without effort is usually read without pleasure - +Samuel Johnson

I am often so clever I that I don't understand a single word I've said - +Oscar Wilde

Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing about - +Ben Franklin
-------------------------------------
Recommended links:
+Writer's Guild Of America - www.wga.org - register your script!

+Screenplay.com - www.screenplay.com - Movie Magic Screenwriter 6

+The Writer's Store - www.writersstore.com - writing software, books, seminars, etc.

+WordPlay - www.wordplayer.com - website of writers Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio

+Zoetrope - www.zoetrope.com - +Francis Ford Coppola's company website

+Film Independent - www.filmindependent.org - for independent filmmakers/writers

JoBlo's Movie Scripts - http://www.joblo.com/moviescripts.php - film scripts

+Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - library of produced and unproduced scripts

The Script Mentor - www.thescriptmentor.com - script mentoring and coverage

SpecScout - www.specscout.com - a spec script sales tracking service.
---------------------------------------

Monday, March 18, 2013

The Art Of Words: Quotability

An important, and often overlooked, aspect to screenwriting is how quoatble your characters are.  Quotability is essential to the "afterlife" of your story.

FADE IN:

Amongst several other projects, I am punching up a comedy screenplay. I have two agendas:

1. Make it funny.
2. Make it quotable.

Quotability is an underappreciated, and too often ignored, component in most screenplays. I believe quotable characters should be a top priority for all scripts, to help the stories achieve a successful "afterlife". In fact, I believe many movies wouldn't even have an afterlife if it weren't for their quotable lines.

Every film catagory has its "titans" who define the genre. And more often than not, those titans have some measure of recognizable quotability.  Let's look at some examples.  I bet you know which movies they're from:

1. "May the force be with you."
2. "I'll be back."
3. "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
4. "You talkin' to me?"
5. "We're not in Kansas, anymore."
6. "Rosebud."
7. "Here's lookin' at you, kid."
8. "I coulda been a contender."
9. "I'll make them an offer they can't refuse."
10. "You can't handle the truth!"
11. "She's my sister. She's my daughter."
12. "Go ahead. Make my day."
13. "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."
14. "How am I funny?"
15. "Life is like a box of chocolates."
16. "There's no crying in baseball."
17. "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'."
18. "Show me the money."
19. "I see dead people."
20. "Heeeere's Johnny!"
21. "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives."
22. "Why so serious?"
23. "Say 'hello' to my little friend!"
24. "Yo, Adrian!"
25. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

These quotes have helped each movie etch a permenant place in film history. True that most of the films are classics, or highly respected, and would probably endure without being quotable. But there's no denying that the power of quotability has given the films an even greater presence in the public conscious. This is a position well known to the +Bond films. What would that series be without our hero stating "Bond. +James Bond" in each film? It wouldn't be the same experience for the audience. And that is (or should be) the ultimate goal for every cinematic endeavor: letting the audience feel they have a special relationship with the material.

Film quotes answer key:
1. +Star Wars
2. +The Terminator
3. +Jaws
4. +Taxi Driver
5. +The Wizard Of Oz
6. +Citizen Kane
7. +Casablanca
8. +On The Waterfront
9. +The Godfather
10. +A Few Good Men
11. +China Town
12. +Sudden Impact
13. +Airplane
14. +Goodfellas
15. +Forrest Gump
16. +A League Of Their Own
17. +The Shawshank Redemption
18. +Jerry Maguire
19. +The Sixth Sense
20. +The Shining
21. +Braveheart
22. +The Dark Knight
23. +Scarface
24. +Rocky
25. +Gone With the Wind

YOUR STORY'S ETERNAL LIFE

Social media has provided a powerful arena for filmmakers to attract and maintain their audience. Every studio has a +Facebook page, a +Twitter presence, a +LinkedIn profile, and so on. +Studios and production companies understand the power of these environments; that social networks are perfect platforms for films and TV shows to live on long after they've left theaters, or been sent on to syndication glory.

Story is always the primary element in any script. Character is the next primary, and quotability is a definite character attribute. But making quotable characters isn't as easy as it sounds. If the "quotable" line is too cheesy or doesn't quite reflect the situation your character(s) is in, then it will fall flat (unless that's the intent, for comedic effect). This can be the pitfall for catchphrases, as well. If it doesn't relate, the audience won't equate. The key is to make the phrase relevent and (if possible) universal, so fans can use the phrase freely in whatever environment they're in (I've heard "We need a bigger boat" used in more social situations than I can count). Quotable lines used by fans, on social media, or other avenues, means more exposure for the source material - your story.

When +Robert De Niro's character Travis Bickle famously uttered "You talkin' to me?" in +Taxi Driver, the speech wasn't in the original script. He made it up while rehersing the scene. And since Mr. +De Niro just happens to be brilliant, he created a movie moment that will live forever. In fact, when +Taxi Driver was first released it wasn't a hit. But when people started quoting the famous speech, more people went to see the movie to understand the context. That's the power of quotability. Raising the public's curiosity and drawing in more audience. There have been many films where a famous line was made up on the spot, like +Bogart's "Here's looking at you, kid" from +Casablanca. That creativity is part of the collaborative nature of filmmaking, and is necessary for any film to succeed. But if you get your story ahead of the curve with strong characters and good quotability, your chances for cinematic eternity improve greatly.

WHAT EXACTLY IS A STORY'S "AFTERLIFE"?

Simply put, the "afterlife" of a story is why we write in the first place. It's that what we write has meaning and carries forward to future generations in the form of habitual re-viewing by a rabid fan base, celebrational re-releases, dvd's, books on our work, the public quoting our words ad nauseam, our story and characters having a constant presence on social media, and tilling the fertile land of merchandising and licensing.

Everyone hopes for an "afterlife" for their work, but we don't always know there will be one. When +George Lucas finally made +Star Wars (after being turned down by +Universal, among others), +20th Century Fox wasn't completely sold on how well the film would do. It wasn't titled +Episode IV, yet. It was a one-and-done project. +Fox looked at the film as an expensive (for the time) kids movie with cool effects. In fact, Fox handed over the merchdising rights to +Mr.Lucas as a sign of just how much faith they actually had in the property. Well it's safe to say that after five (soon to be six) sequels and $4.5 billion in gross later, the "afterlife" of a certain industry changing space saga worked out incredibly well for Mr. Lucas. His belief in his work, his unwavering vision, and his sheperding of all aspects of his story (including quotability) has culminated in a success few have dared to dream of.

We all have the opportunity to be game changers. But not everyone holds such lofty goals. Sometimes we just want to tell a nice story we can be proud of. It's an ambition every writer should have, regardless of scope and scale of our effort.

EPILOGUE

We don't always know what's quotable. That's the wild card. But I believe that it's better to take a shot at bolstering the longevity of the material, than playing it safe. This is a lesson we can learn from good comedy films.

A perfect example is from the early movie masters of quotability, the +Marx Brothers. Take a look at +Duck Soup. Almost the entire movie is quotable. Same goes for +Animal Crackers, which contains the famous "One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know". There are other films such as the +Hope and +Crosby "Road" movies, +Some Like It Hot, +The Odd Couple, +Blazing Saddles, +Young Frankenstein, +Caddyshack, +Airplane, the+ Naked Gun series, +The Princess Bride, +Austin Powers, +There's Something About Mary, +Anchorman, and many more. They're all great comedies, and all very quotable.

So take a chance and try to put some quotable lines in your script. If a line doesn't work, take it out. Simple. But if you know what your script is about, the quotability should be inherent. You just have to dig a little deeper, and find the magic.

I hope this post has been helpful. Best of luck.
------------------------------------
A few quotes:
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves - +William Shakespeare

If it's not on the page, it's not on the screen - +Robert Evans

Story is the key to everything on screen - +Richard Zanuck

Self-trust is the first secret to success - +Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing - +Walt Disney

It's not about one big opening weekend. It's about building a career that you can be proud of - +George Clooney

The most incredible thing about my career is that I had one - +Preston Sturges
------------------------------------
Recommended links:
Writer's Guild Of America - www.wga.org - register your script!

Screenplay.com - www.screenplay.com - Movie Magic Screenwriter 6

The Writer's Store - www.writersstore.com - writing software, books, seminars, etc.

WordPlay - www.wordplayer.com - website of writers Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio

Zoetrope - www.zoetrope.com - Francis Ford Coppola's company website

Film Independent - www.filmindependent.org - for independent filmmakers/writers

JoBlo's Movie Scripts - http://www.joblo.com/moviescripts.php - film scripts

Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - library of produced and unproduced scripts

The Script Mentor - www.thescriptmentor.com - script mentoring and coverage

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Art Of Words: Screenplay Optimization

FADE IN:

Hello Writers,

How are you? I am fine. Just want to take a moment to explain what this post is about: screenplay optimization. It's an important and (I believe) fundemental part of screenwriting. We're not talking about story optimization, which is getting the most effective use out of all your story components.

Screenplay optimization is forming and shaping the physical appearance of your script. Optimization is imperative, because the physical appearance of your script pages is as important as the story itself. Optimization is another tool to get the most out of your script pages.

EVERY WRITER'S HIDDEN MISSION

It's been said the great Irish author James Joyce used a mathematical formula to determine the placement of each word, sentence and paragraph in every one of his manuscripts. Now, I'm not sure screenwriters need to go to that extent, but having an idea of how we want our scripts to look (or anything we write, for that matter) is an important part of our craft.

There's a certain perception versus reality when it comes to scriptwriting: just make the story great, and it will sell. Well, writing a great story is only half the battle. If the script doesn't look like a top shelf effort, it won't climb the ladder from a reader to an agent or producer or studio. We can accomplish this by editing stories down to a good "fighting weight", where word and page count is pared to a reasonable sum.

Something I find helpful is assessing a "value" on the words I put into a story. It doesn't mean giving monetary value to each word (though, I'm sure many writers do). What valuating really means (to me) is that not just any word adds value to the story. Another way to think of it is "Am I using the very best and most useful words to tell my story in an efficient manner"? Most any presentation spec script* with an explosion of words on each page will quickly find its way to the trash bin in a production office.

Editing down to the highest value words affects everything from sluglines, to narrative descriptions, to lines of dialogue. The good news is editing/valuating can be done using any pad of paper, computer or typwriter; at any desk, table, or lap; in any room, classroom, office, studio, or Starbuck's.

An important agenda is always make the script as lean as possible. This is where word valuation (aka economizing) comes into play: using the fewest, and best, words to tell the most story. Television embraces the optimized manner of writing because the confines of TV (30 min. and 60 min. formats; accelerated production schedules) dictates the necessity of a lean, tight approach.

We can learn script optimization by example. Read produced scripts from past decades to present, and you'll notice by comparison that screenwriting has made huge leaps forward in formatting, structure, and efficiency. For instance, the format of +Citizen Kane is quite different from that of +The Godfather. Both epic in scope and scale. Both exceptionally well told. Both worthy of the admiration they garner.  But Godfather's format has an efficiency that didn't exist when +Welles and +Mankiewicz were writing. That has to do with writers and studios coming together over the years to work out better, more effective standards. Much of the reason is that producers don't have time to read. They want efficient stories that are solid, lean, and sellable. And it's our job to write 'em that way.

* Note: There's a difference between a presentation script and a production script. A presentation script is the spec you want to sell to a producer or production company. A production script is what you write after the story has been sold, and is being drafted for production.

WAIT A MINUTE.  LESS WORDS = MORE STORY?

I recently read an unproduced script that I knew right away would not get past a reader at any production company or agency. It's not that the story was weak (though not as compelling as it could have been), it's not that the formatting was wrong, or that the characters weren't engaging (though, except for the two leads, most weren't as strong as they should have been).

And the problem was? The opening narrative description was 5 1/2 inches long! The standard script page is 8 1/2" x 11", which means half this opening page was description! This heavy-handed attention to detail replayed on every page to the end of the script. I believe most any reader would have put it in the rejection pile after 5 pages of this bombardment.

I have no doubt that if the writer optomized the script and used only high value words, keeping the descriptive blocks at 2-3 lines, they'd cut at least 20 pages of dead-weight from the script. That means 20 pages of story expansion, character growth, and emotional involvement for the audience were buried under a desert of unnecessary wordage.

Expanded description might work well for a novel, a magazine article, or an amazing blog on writing, but a screenplay has to be lean and lucid.  The effect is two-fold:

1. The story reads faster, which is a more pleasent experience for the reader (and the level of pleasure in their reading experience does count towards your script getting a Yes or Pass).

2. The more "white space" there is on the page has a psychological effect, relaxing the reader emotionally and suggesting there's less work for them mentally (script appearance also counts towards a Yes or Pass).

If a reader at most any production company or studio has a stack of scripts to cover (or a logjam of PDF's), the last thing they want to see are script pages covered in a dense fog of Courier type. If you've ever had to sign a stack of important documents, and seen an ocean of words on page after page, you know that can be intimidating. So imagine a poor reader having 50 scripts to cover, and each possesed a tidal wave of verbiage. The tears would be endless. Help them (and your story) by having tight, lean and clean script pages.

So what does a "lean" screenplay really mean? Is it less pages making a thinner script? Yes and no. A script that's been optimized refers to the amount of words used to tell a story in the confines of standard format (aka "trimming the fat"; "cutting the excess"). Less word count doesn't always mean less pages. But fewer words should mean tighter structure and efficiency, helping you serve all aspects of your story.

So, how do we do it?

SCRIPT LIPO 101

There's a learning curve when it comes to putting a script on a "diet". While it isn't always easy to make cuts, it does give us another opportunity to show our creativity within the body of the script. If we've done all the necessary grunt work to prepare our story (outlines, index cards, bullet sheets, treatments, or whatever our weapon of choice), we should be able to breakdown the essential narrative components relatively easily. The hard part comes in choosing which words to keep.

As we write, we fall into comfortable patterns, ones that help shape our "voice" as writers. Those patterns can be counter-productive because when it comes to editing, we tend to love our words a little too much. Sometimes it's a question of confidence: do we trust what we've written will be underdstood? If we take words away, will it lessen the impact of our writing? It's at this point we need to take a step back, and decide what's in the best interest of our work.

Example:
Let's say we have a common action/thriller scenario: Joe, our protagonist, is in a situation where Phil, our antagonist, will force Joe to rob the bank they're about to enter. Joe's wife and son are held hostage by Phil's henchmen, so if Joe doesn't rob the bank it will mean the end for his family.
-----------------------------------------
EXT. BANK - DAY
Phil's car pulls up front. Joe drives even though he doesn't want to, but Phil is making him. Joe has a trickle of sweat that starts at the top of his forehead, pauses, then beads down. He's trying to think of a way to get the gun away from Phil, because he thinks Phil will kill him and his family anyway after the bank robbery, even though Phil says he won't. They get out of the car together, and walk together to the front of the bank. They stand together and look at the entrance to the bank. Phil has a gun hidden under his coat and pokes Joe in the ribs with it. It hurts, but Joe doesn't say anything because he's kind of scared. Joe walks toward the bank doors, worried about what could go wrong after he goes in.
-----------------------------------------
Obviously, there is way too much information in this scene. There's misplaced information, irrelevant information, and needless redundancy.

Let's fix it up:
-----------------------------------------
EXT. BANK - DAY
Phil's car pulls up, Joe drives. Phil conceals his gun under his coat. Motions for Joe to get out. They exit.

They stand in front of the bank. Phil's gun jabs Joe in the ribs, reminding him the clock is ticking. Joe glances at his wedding ring. Knows what's at stake. Hesitantly approaches the bank doors.
----------------------------------------
Much cleaner, more fluid. There's a hundred ways to give this same info in an equally effective manner, as long as we keep the page as clean as possible.

Scenes that require more intricate detail still apply the same principle: use only what's necessary.

Below is the first page of a screenplay I recently finished, titled The Den Of The Damned. I believe it follows the optimization principle quite closely.
------------------------------------------
Excerpt from the screenplay, The Den Of The Damned, written by Charles Dalrymple

FADE IN:

EXT. DESERT - DAY

SUPER: NEW MEXICO TERRITORY - 1866

Harsh sunlight blankets the desert floor, and the path of -

A MAN (face unseen), slight limp. Something intense about him. Leads a PALE HORSE. The man's wide hat and long coat are dusted from the land he's crossed.

EXT. ROCCA BLANCO - TOWN CENTER - DAY (LATER)

Sun-blanched buildings hint at faded promise of a boomtown.

BULLET-POCKED SIGN: "WELCOME TO ROCCA BLANCO"

DUSTY BOOTS

Tow the pale horse past the sign to a weather-beaten water trough.

LEATHER GLOVES

Tie the horse to a hitch.

WATER TROUGH

A glove scoops water. Face, hidden by wide hat, drinks.

PALE HORSE

The gloves remove a battle-scarred .44 1863 Henry Repeating Rifle - STAMPED U.S. ON THE BUTT - from its saddle scabbard.
------------------------------------------
The page sets the tone/mood immediately, gives character details, gives location details, and a bit of foreshadowing, all with a minimum of wordage. Later in the story, I fill in the blanks of how the man came to acquire the clothes, horse and Henry rifle. So, the story is served from beginning to end.
Also, notice that I didn't include blatant camera angles or editing direction. They clutter the page and take up valuable "white space". Don't include them until the script is in production.

EPILOGUE

There's no "one size fits all" approach to anything creative. And there are exceptions to every rule. Any number of recently produced scripts fly in the face of what I've posted here. But there are varying forces at work: a script produced by a studio can look however the studio wants it to look. If a particular writer's style suits a particular studio's needs, then the script will be built accordingly.

Case in point - +Quentin Tarantino and the +Weinstein Company. +Tarantino's scripts are 180 degrees opposite of lean. But his use of extensive narrative is masterful, and his style has garnered two Oscars, as well as a niche for himself and the Weinsteins. But, again, I feel this is the exception to the rule.  By and large, optimized scripts are the industry preference.

For every "full figured" script, there's one that's "lean". Check out the script for +Alien by Walter Hill and David Giler. It feels like the whole story is told in one-word sentances. That's an exaggeration, but not by much. As lean as it is, the whole story is on the pages, built for maximum effect and efficiency. The opposite might be the script for +Amadeus. Thick, intricate narrative blocks fill the pages - and it won an Oscar. +Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid - lean, tight. And it won an Oscar. +The Godfather, fits in the "full figured" catagory. Won an Oscar. +No Country For Old Men, fits the "lean" catagory. Won an Oscar. The list goes on...

I've read well over 200 produced scripts. From what I can see, lean scriptwriting has been the trend for at least 30 years. I truly believe that's the best approach, especially for a new writer. Create a lean, tight, efficient script, and your chances for success increase exponentially.

These are just my opinions. Do with them what you will. Best of luck.
----------------------------
A few writers whom adhere to script optimization:
+Christopher Nolan
+Shane Black
+Walter Hill
+Tony Gilroy
+Darren Aronofsky
+The Wachowskis
+Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant
-----------------------------
Useful links:
Writer's Guild of America - www.wga.org - Register your script!

Screenplay - www.screenplay.com - Movie magic Screenwriter 6

Writer's Store - www.writersstore.com - Books, vids, seminars, software, etc.

Wordplay - www.wordplayer.com - Website of writers Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio

Simply Scripts - www.simplyscripts.com - Library of produced and unproduced scripts

The Script Mentor - www.thescriptmentor.com - Script mentoring, coverage
-------------------------------------
A Few Quotes:
Though this be madness, there is method to it - +William Shakespeare

Writing begins when you've finished. Only then do you know what you're trying to say - +Mark Twain

There can't be art, without risk - +Francis Ford Coppola

I don't believe in writer's block - +Elmore Leonard

First, find out what your hero wants. Then, just follow him - +Ray Bradbury

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense - +Tom Clancy

It's impossible to discourage real writers - +Sinclair Lewis

Screenwriting is really no more complicated than old French torture chambers - +James L. Brooks